Marty : SOUTHERNERS SPORTS CLUB

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SOUTHERNERS A-TEAM DEFEATS SINGAPORE’S BEDOK IN FRIENDLY

The organizing only took a couple of weeks and commitment from 7 players. Before we knew it our bags were packed and we were on our way to Singapore. The weekend kicked off with a few bottles of wine at the international lounge of Suvarnabhumi airport, and after a very jolly boarding we realized Air Asia does not serve alcohol (note for next time!). We touched down in Singapore (sober!) and where the flight let us down, duty free stepped in offering us free glasses of Bailey’s mint cream (ice would have been nice but we weren’t to complain). The mood was lifted and after a bite at BKs the rest of us were ready to sample a bit of Singapore night life over a few more bottles of wine (although Joey feeling withdrawls from no in-flight alcohol had to call it an early night, with Liv to follow).

Saturday morning welcomed us with 30 plus temperatures and a bright blue sky. It was the start to a perfect day except when you then realize you are playing netball on an outdoor court where there is no shade. We managed to round up sunscreen and our energy levels for an hour of netball in the blistering sun. The Southerners didn’t let the home ground advantage get them down (despite the fact our regular season is played in an air conditioned stadium – so spoilt!) or the fact we had no spare players (compared to Bedok’s 4 or 5 subs). In true Southerners spirit we were pumped and ready to go down fighting.

For the first 5 minutes of the game, Bedok dominated. There was a brief moment when a few of us thought “we’re in all sorts of trouble” but after we had warmed to the heat by the 8 minute mark, Nic Hodge and Kristina had scored some fine goals and the defence team, consisting of Joey and Rania, had managed some superb intercepts and rebounds to help give Southerners a chance.

By the second quarter we had settled into more of a rhythm! The Southerners hit the lead and by half time we were up by 20 goals. Dana’s ‘bullet’ passes out of the middle helped set the pace, while Joy and Liv worked hard on the wings.

Despite a few injuries (a sprained ankle, cramps and a jarred finger to name a few!) and sporting very red faces (with Hodgy and Liv leading the line up) nothing was going to stop the Southerners team as we all strived for a victory. Bedok were struggling to get a goal in the second half due to our tight defence. Joey’s consistent game, combined with Rania’s constant interceptions made for a cracking combination.

Despite Bedok cheekily snatching a few of our center passes in the final quarter and their late strategy move – with the GD dropping back to block our GS at the center pass – it was too little too late. When the final siren sounded, the score proved a convincing win for the Southerners 50 – 22.

Bedok shouted us burgers and margaritas at a local favorite, BB’s at Clarke Quay. Later that evening the party moved back to Clarke Quay where the ladies really found out what the local term ‘sausage fest’ was all about…

The success of this trip for both teams has resulted in Bedok and the Southerners planning a trip to Hanoi in July ’07. Stay Tuned.

Southerner’s A-team
GS Kristina Zanic
GA Nicole Hodgson
WA Joy Manalansan
C Dana Piggott
WD Liv Thwaites
GD Joey Kukielka
GK Rania Burns

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Southerners victors over Bangkok Japanese in Annual Golf Challenge

The Southerners Golf Team defeated the Bangkok Japanese by 11 shots in a heat wave out at Lamm Lukka Country Club last Saturday. The win by the Southerners reverses the defeat at the hands of the Japanese at the inaugural event last year.Southerners also won the ‘best of 3 boat races’ back in the club house afterwards and also recorded a narrow win in the ‘inebriated press up competition’.

Standout performances by:
Andy Thompson on the drinks cart with the red bull/vodka shots.
Phil North for excelling at club throwing when he lost his rag when Andy Thompson was talking behind him on an important fairway shot.
Retief Goosen and Trevor Immelmen (aka Messrs Jones & Minnett) for being the foundations behind the Southerners win in their pairing
Dave ‘The Patriot’ Rimi for not showing otherwise he’d still be lining up his final putt on the 18th hole
JP for going psycho again as only JP can – oh and shooting the best gross score for the Southerners (88)
Josh Black for still looking like Tim Brasher from the Balmain Tigers
Al Munro for mixing it with Tomo & Kevin in their foursome thus allowing Josh to do the damage on the Japanese pairing.

Overall, a great days fun, entertainment, stupidity and laughs capped off with a win to the good guys.

Thanks to Tomo and the lads from Bangkok Japanese for contributing to a wonderful day.It just goes to show common brotherhood of rugby cannot really be equalled in any sport.

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Fishing Division of the Southerners Sports Club

By Ben “Agggghhhhh that’s not a fish, this is a fish” Hainsworth

General Bob Ball, ‘Henry Rollins’ Miller, Mark ‘the carp’ Anderson, Marty “the pimp who brings 2 ladies along to bait the hooks” O’Driscoll and I tackled some of Bangkok’s largest deep sea monsters last weekend.

Upon arrival at Bangkok’s largest fish pond we were confronted with the sight of a local guide and expat chest deep in the murky water wrestling a fish that was so big there was no way of dragging it out of the water – it seriously would have weighed close to 100kgs. With one quick look at this, the boys skulled a few XXXX beers – kindly flown in by the US Army, especially for the event and got stuck into the action.

After getting settled into our luxury style bungalow on the water – TV, fridge, deck chairs, card table and of course Marty’s 2 wives, we were into the action. Within minutes we had a double hook up – with the fish that is! Marty had to be buckled into a harness as he was getting dragged closer and closer to the waters edge. But finally, after wearing these bastards out and vice versa, we had the monsters to the surface…

Next problem, like the guy at the start, was getting the things on land! Thankfully the bungalow next door lent us their net, which we very soon realised was too small…so we steered the fish’s head into the net and then two of us grabbed the tail and heaved it onto the landing deck….these things were the fattest, ugliest, possibly the most docile things ever to have lived in water…

A quick vote on the weight, resulted in a unanimous decision of around 50kgs a piece.

At the end of the day, as the sun was setting, and the XXXX was quickly disappearing we had landed 3 of the largest cat fish we had ever seen and had a great day out!

So until next Southerners Fishing Tournament, start watching copies of ‘Rex Hunt Fishing Adventures”, practice your casting (Marty invented a new method of ear piercing) and try wrestling Momo for practice landing these deep sea slugs.

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Khao San Road Tour April 2006

The inimitable Marco Polo once said “to walk amongst the travelers is to be but a fleeting breeze in an Afghan storm”. With this prose resonating around us, the Southerners 2006 Khao San Torrrr was underway. We were the fleeting breeze and that road, that travelers Mecca that is Khao San, was our Afghan storm. We were going to walk amongst the travelers.

Actually I made that quote up. Our Afghan storm began at the Robin Hood in grand style. Never has a more motley, and let’s face it, brave, accumulation of individuals gathered for what really is a rather parlous adventure into the depths of backpacker culture than on this day. There was Brown looking like Pele after 20 years in Jamaica, Jacques in a tea cosy, Steel with unspeakable hair for which he was fined and a Goa inspired headband, Ham looking like Chopper’s younger English cousin, the usual array of Red Bull singlets, wrist bands, fishermans pants and headscarves, and Fatty and Fabio featuring their normal dress complete with bags that could fit a house strapped to their backs.

So off we traipsed to the BTS. Happily, for the second year in a row no one was pushed on to the tracks so there were no delays. We alight at National Stadium and like true travelers, haggle with the tuk tuk boys for a 5 baht discount and settle in for the ride. Races are on and at least 3 make it on 2 wheels.

First stop is Gullivers. There’s not much happening so we create some action. Drinks are ordered and the court is in session. As per the Rules of the Tour, no imported drinks are allowed. We are backpackers and too poor for that. This is fine when you are drinking Singha beers but when it comes to fines of Sangsom, its hardly ideal and visions of a dog show begin to take shape. Notable fines include Maddern who bought his full outfit 2 minutes earlier on the street, Steel for his terrible hair, youngsters, Fabio and Fatty, just for being youngsters and the French boys for being French. After a few good ones we emerge onto the street for some real atmosphere. Its at
this point we begin to realize we are nothing but a bunch of epigones. We cannot match the authentic backpacker for style and grace. No amount of fake tattoos and fisherman’s pants will do it. But we get stuck in.

Bar #2 was a street side thing. Memory is hazy but one doesn’t forget the Cheers Beer chick who reached her monthly quota in the two hours we were there. Like any traveler we know a special when we see it and two large bottle for 10 cents or whatever it was needed to be dominated. The more you drink the more you save. Indeed. We saved a lot. Tarryn left her mark here with 16 orders of tequila and Linda joined us at this point in a top that wasn’t to stay on long.

Warmed and lubricated and attracting our fair share of stares we launched an assault on a rather upmarket bar across the road whose name escapes me right now. Now this is where things get really hazy, especially for the author who pretty soon got horizontal and at one stage almost fell over the balcony. The party raged on despite him.

Well the memory well and truly runs out now but the evidence suggests we made it the Irish bar upstairs where the usual theatrics took place. Basically we gave it stick. The court was out of session completely by this stage so there was nothing stopping us. On on…

See photos for more info. The author regrets that he can’t write on. Shakes brought on by ‘The Fear’ which was the result of that night and disturbing flashbacks spell the end.

But all in it was an absolute cracker. A slightly different crowd with some ring-ins (and one baby) provided a buzzing dynamic and once again, the Southerners Khao San Tour was a raging success.

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Southerners Family Race Day

Once again the annual Southerners Race Day has upstaged a gaggled of pretenders as the no. 1 highlight of the Bangkok Social Scene. When previously the NZ Ball, Ploenchit Fair or the Film Festival have sat atop the mantle, we are now experiencing a changing of the guard.

In global terms, the participation rivals that of the Hawaiian Iron Man. Interestingly, you need to be in similar shape to compete in both and many venture the Race Day is slightly more taxing on the body. Certainly the heat, concentration and feats of endurance are on par.

This year the prestigious honour of host went to the Royal Bangkok Sports Club, just edging out Nung Lerng, Royal Randwick, and Aintree in the voting. Set in the lush surrounds of the city centre, the club boasts a golf course, various sports pitches and a driving range in the centre of a spectacular race course. This, combined with the cityscape looming in the background provides a serene vista for avid race goers.

The crowd on the day, by contrast – some avid race goers and some avid other things – provided a less serene vista for the locals in the stand and vice versa. As usual, hats were the order of the day and from Nicole’s black and gold beauty, through Jeremy’s embarrassing pink sailing thing, to Brendon’s fantastical Mongolian Horseman’s bonnet, we really were a spectacle. A number of Brokeback contenders were on display as well.

With Scoop and Jones running syndicates, betting was made easy and interest peaked at raffle times with Wagga in outstanding form providing 3 bottles of sensational NZ, South African and Australian vintages to 3 lucky winners.

By race 8, with the temperature a constant 45ºC, the humidity breaking records, all and sundry rapidly intoxicating, and punters down on their luck we decided to ‘move out’. What a decision. Through an honour guard and to appreciative applause the Southerners Race Day 2006 came to an end and we filed out with promises of “we’ll be back”, “see you soon” and “I want to die”.

Typically, the day the end not end there and in true Southerners fashion we stoically soldiered on well into the night and far into oblivion.

Results later revealed an entry in Lonely Planet’s 10 Best Things to do in Bangkok, a nomination in World’s Best Looking Expats, and an invitation to the Melbourne Cup in November.

All in all a great day was again had by all and Southerners continues to provide innovative and original social gatherings for interested expats and locals.

Southerners Social Committee

2005/2006 BNL RESULTS AND BNL END OF SEASON PRESENTATION

Southerners Netball had it’s best results yet this year in the Bangkok Netball League. After last season where we struggled to keep a second team together, we managed to field two full teams. After the first round the league splits into 3 divisions with Southerners A in Division 1 and Southerners B in Division 3.

Southerners A went through the season u defeated except for a loss to Transpo, much to their delight, when we were down on players. What was most entertaining was the effect of the captains “lets kick some arse” email call out for players the next time we played them. All 10 players turned up 30 minutes before the game started, dressed, warming up and psyched in contrast to the rest of the season where the last players dribbled onto court half way through the first quarter! Anyway, we won that game and the rest of the season’s to take out winners of Division 1.

Southerners B after a shaky start with player turnout, managed to turn things around under the watchful eye of captain Libby Elms. They blasted their way through the last round and a half of the season to top Division 3 and we are sure they will be a force to be reckoned with next season!

The Bangkok Netball League End of Season bash was held in May at Livingstones. This was a great night, where Southerners picked up many awards -

1. Division 1 Winners – Southerners A
2. Division 2 Winners – Southerners B
3. Best Dressed Team – Southerners CLub
4. Player of the Season – Joey Kukielka

Crown, a dedicated netball sponsor for Southerners also gave out awards specifically for our club. These went to -

1. A Team – Best and Fairest Player : Kerry Guthrie
2. A Team – Most Valuable Player : Lisa Stirling
3. A Team – Most Improved Player : Pauline Mills
4. B Team – Best and Fairest Player : Joey Kukielka
5. B Team – Most Valuable Player : Alex Alo
6. B Team – Most Improved Player : Kate Friend

Once we had outstayed our welcome at Livingstones, we ventured on to James’ 30th, where some relatively seedy characters were present…see the photos!

Southerners A Team:
Nicole Stanners (C), Emma Perry, Kristina Zanic, Kerry Guthrie, Stephanie Dunstan, Seonaid Anderson, Lisa Stirling, Pauline Mills, Olivia Thwaites, Gill Kruss, Mel Luck, Cath Gallery

Southerners B Team:
Libby Elms (C), Alex Alo, Sasha Minnett, Tarynn Hatton-Jones, Kate Friend, Joey Kukielka, Gill Presland, Melissa Stewart, Melissa Burt, Kim Mc Connie, Sara Lyn, Sarah Black, Sonia Wilson, Emma De Szoeke, Rachael Wood

We would like to say a big farewell to some of our members that left Bangkok – Seonaid Anderson, Mel Luck and Cath Gallery

2005 SPONSORS AND NEW UNIFORMS

2005 saw us change sponsors from Crown to Guinness and to also acquire a sexier, more aerodynamic kit. We managed to pick up a good deal from Adidas and now have a black and white striped uniform with the Southerners and Guinness logos emblazoned. It has caused quite a stir on court and off the court (more later on that one!) and won us best dressed club for the BNL season!!

SOUTHERNERS GUINNESS NETBALL END OF SEASON BASH

Our 2 Southerners Teams had their end of season drinks at Admakers…the scene of many train smash nights, so it was never going to be pretty! Due to the most torrential rain Bangkok has seen in years smashing down on the capital between 6:30pm and 7pm, causing black outs, floods and major traffic jams not seen before everyone except for Mel Luck was at least 1 hour late. Mel thought we had deliberately told he the wrong night and kept texting everyone to ensure we were actually on our way!!

Once we all arrived though, it was a great night. Plenty of dancing, drinking, singing and silly behaviour, although I don’t ever remember two gays guys playing in our teams, who were permanently ensconced at our table! (see photos, they say more!)

Khao San Road Tour 2005

I had visions of writing a long an witty report on the torrr but have lost enthusiasm so this is all I could manage…(cry me a river)

Report: Cone San Road Torr Slash Muff-Show dot com 2005

Lead-up: Boys were nervous. Some didn’t show. Dress code adhered to well. Good crowd.

Mid Way: Smooth sailing. One man cotched already. Good following of groupies. No one arrested. Everyone slowly breaking. Bugs eaten. Kitty proving a winner.

Outcome: Great night which descended into chaos as the torr became leaderless, Chang and Sangsom took their toll and soi 1 bore the brunt. Boys happy, locals relieved, girls off the hook.

Guys, what a night. The Southerners annual Khao San road tour proved yet again to be a highlight on the social calendar in Bangkok. It was very well attended and the spirit in which the lads and lasses took part was exceptional.

The whole debacle started at Livingstone’s at 7am where we warmed up. Jones turned up in his girlfriend’s technicolour skin tight top which made some sick and hypnotized others. The rules were read, kitty sorted and we made our way for to the sky train and National Stadium. The trip proved uneventful this year since no-one was pushed onto the tracks prompting the emergency stoppage of trains. In true backpacker style we tuk tuked it to Cone San in convoy and first stop was The Hole in the Wall, a veritable Cone San institution. Resembling a Beirut bomb shelter from the 90′s, this spectacularly dingy ‘bar’ saw the introduction of Sangsom fines. Charges were called and fines administered with one unlucky reveler experiencing his come back out his nose. The rest of that stop had him in the bathroom cotching and snorting water in a desperate attempt to flush out the burning spirit. He was fined again for this…

Following ‘The Hole’ we managed to impose ourselves on a few different bars where we managed to pick up some groupies, fine people, eat bugs and generally be loud and obnoxious. Eventually we stumbled up into an Irish bar where highlights included Ultan harassing various birds and scaring everyone with his hat, Ron spading some chicks in the corner and impressing them with stories of his work saving the unique freshwater dolphin species of the lower Mekhong – until he realised they knew something about that and asked him to reflect on the state of the erosion caused by recent flooding and it’s effect on the dolphins. Ron then left. James and Fred were seen trying kiss later on – or so the photos would have us believe – and everyone else was generally acting drunk and trying to pick up girls. Except for Wagga who wondered off for an early night and has since copped it for rendering the torrr leaderless…

That’s all from me guys since I left early and was too drunk to remember much else anyway…

Bangkok International Invitational Tournament

Asian Expat teams from Hong Kong, Indonesia, Vietnam and Bangkok, as well as the Thai National Team competed in this event. Southerners entered one team and came Runner Up to the Thai National Team (AGAIN!)