SOUTHERNERS SPORTS CLUB

So here’s the report you have all been waiting for about Southerners’ tour in Macau. The team of eight traveled to Macau on Friday 6 July 2007 and returned on Monday 9 July. On tour were Andrew Spedding – the sleeper under the influence, Gary Chatfield – the farang Jatukarm collector, Walter Persaud – the mini x-factor, Tony Tree – the man with a hole in the head, James Moss – the patient compiler of low scores, Peter Goodchap – the perfume distributor, JP- the irrepressible impersonator, and Vaughan McClear – not yet off the mark.

On Saturday and Sunday, we played four matches, won one and lost three. ‘Lost’ and ‘won’ need to be contextualized. In the plate semi-final, we managed to get pulverized and earn the dubious distinction of compiling the lowest score of the tournament, a measly 40 in reply to Shenzen Commonwealth’s unimpressive 59 with plenty of extras.

Interestingly, just a few hours earlier, the boys had given a demo of just how miserable things could be for the other teams if the sights and sights (no sounds in Macau) of Macau were not so enticing, racking up the highest team score of the tournament, a mammoth 103 for the loss of two wickets. Openers Gary Chatfield and Peter Goodchap left the unfortunate opposition, The Brickbats, shell-shocked with a wonderful exhibition of power hitting. Later the Brickbats wicketkeeper confided that he didn’t mind the big sixes, but there was just too many of them from both batsmen. The poor chap seemed ready to pack it in by the third over, even before they had had a chance to bat. Both batsmen retired on 30 before TTree had a go at them with a brisk 21 not out. The one bright spot for the Brickbats was that Southerners’ patient runs compiler compiled a quick fire duck following the blasts from the perfume distributor, Pete, and Gary.

In the other two games played on Saturday, southerners lost by a slim margin to Old Taipa Tavern and then more substantially to Rabbi’s Elephant. In the latter game, Chatfiled score a brisk 29 before things fell apart. Special mention must be made of the two beamers with which the Moose opened the Southerners’ bowling attack.

Seeing that the Southerners were not doing well on the filed, JP decided to make a mark off the field. This irrepressible impersonator donned his Elvis suit and performed to rapturous applause. By the time he was finished, he had men, yes, men lining up for photographs and autographs. Emma rightfully got worried and shooed them off her husband. Later that night while JP was sleeping she set fire to the suit. No more hanky-panky for him!!

If Southerners were outplayed on the field in the day, it was a different affair at night. When Friday night’s frolicking ended at dawn on Saturday, Speddo had forgotten where and even who he was, Pete had raided a couple of casinos, Gary – yes the Jatukarm collector, had left the good company of friends, only to be seen later idly wandering the pavement for a couple of hours in the wee hours of the morning before being rescued.

The mayhem continued on Saturday night as TTree managed to put a hole in his head as he entered the taxi, Spedding not very consciously felt the ‘caressing’ hands on his face from a Columbian young lady on the account of some alleged misdeed by the perfume distributor Pete, the x-factor Walter suffered a sudden alcohol deficiency syndrome and polished off 3 beers to make up for the past 2 years of his low alcohol blood count.

The final evening was nicely arranged by Emma at a wonderful Portuguese restaurant before the perfume distributor decided that we had had enough and sent everyone scurrying off to the casinos. ‘Sands’ of Las Vegas was the chosen venue and what a place it was!

All in all, this is one cricket tour for which the word ‘cricket’ will have to be seriously stretched. It was fun and I am sure cricket would fit somewhere in there.

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(by Peter Goodchap)

The normal tradition for Southerners cricket teams during these events is for a great showing off the field, and a poor showing on the field, normally due to the afore mentioned drinking, etc. Well this year we certainly kept up the off field antics, but we also had some success on the field.

We were matched in the first round with the defending Cup Champions from last year, the Bangladesh Cricketeers, and we were expecting to be hammered by them. Well we faired ok, and while we were beaten, we certainly did not disgrace ourselves, with my personal highlight including hitting 3 sixes in a row of an ex test bowler.

So after the round matches we were allotted into the Bowl division, which we were quite happy about, and after a good win in the first match, we came up against the Robbers and Floggers from Chiangmai, a team which included our mates Steve Penney, Wani Imatyaz and Dave Hird. We must mention at this stage that we played the match at 8.30 in the morning, a time when some of the team (Andrew Spedding) is normally only walking back into the hotel after a night of partying.

So in the early morning we were lucky enough to be given a lot of extra runs due to the number of wides bowled by the Floggers, and so we ended with 95 runs from out 5 overs. In most circumstances this would be more than enough, but for Southerners there is no certainties, and our bowling lived up to expectations and we got smashed around the field.

The final over was to be bowled by Andrew Spedding, and this is one guy who actually thrives on pressure situations and especially while still drunk. The first 5 balls were ok, they hit a few runs, and so the final ball required a 6 for victory. Speddo put one right in the slot, and Wani helped it over the mid wicket boundary for the victory. One up for Floggers and Robbers.

Well we had a better showing in our next few matches, and we made it through to the final of the bowl division, and who do we come up against…… Floggers and Robbers again.

Well this time they bowled better, but we batted better as well, and I got us off to a decent start, retiring on 30 and then Jamie, Vaughan, Tony and Speddo all contributed nicely to help us reach 81 from the 5 overs. The most outstanding performance of our innings though was certainly by James Moss. He opened the batting with me, and at the end of the 5 overs the scoreboard showed Mossy to be 3 Not Out. Now for a powerful opening batsmen of Mossy ability, this gave us great amusement, and we hope that he will be reminded of this innings for many years to come.

Anyway we went out to bowl, and unfortunately the Floggers batted very well, and they hit the winning runs off me on the last ball of the 4th over.

So runners up in the bowl division was a good result for us, and we were very pleased with our cricket. What we enjoyed even more was the off field events, which included seeing Speddo’s chicken legs running up and down the hotel hall, Tony Tree having a leg injury and hobbling around, a round of golf where Mossy and Jamie won, Vaughan finally finding his hamstring muscle, Mossy taking a liking for topless tuk tuks and everybody feeling the results of too much Jagemeister, which was our 2nd drink of choice on tour.

Obviously Guiness was the most drunk liquid, and it certainly helped us get onto the stage for some karaoke. A big thanks to Graeme (Watta) Pity, who was in Chiangmai for a holiday, and joined us for a few games while our injured players took a rest.

All in all it was a great week, and we were all sad to leave for Bangkok. The best news is that most of us will be heading to Macau in July for the first ever Macau Sixes tournament, so look out for news of that tour soon.

Southerners 3’s stalwart “Funky” Dave Baker made good use of some down time from the 3’s before they get back into the run home for the finals starting May 6th @ Polo.
Funky decided to do abit of sport fishing during the break in cricket so he could cleanse the mind and prepare himself for a hectic 5 weeks of cricket to come.

Following the hobbies of Aussie greats Matty Hayden and Jimmy Maher, Funky decided to get in some fishing down at the local sports fishing pond outside Bangkok recently. After several hours in the sun, similar to a day in the field at AIT, Funky caught a blinder to reel this monster cat fish to shore.

Being the conservationist as he is, Funky however decided to let this monster go back into the pond so it could live to fight another day. Yep, another one put down, just like the days fielding at AIT.

Cricket action resumes next Friday with the 2’s taking on Thai Colts at Pattana.

3’s take on Maxwin at the Polo on Saturday and then Sunday 14th, sees the 3’s take on Champions in the last game before finals.

The 2005-2006 season ended week-end May 27th-28th with the finals of the A & B Division being played. With the Premier Division Final played two weeks prior, Southerners completed the season without getting any of its teams into the finals.

The 1’s finished off the season in 7th place just lucky enough to avoid the relegation position of last place which surprisingly was claimed by our farang brothers, Siam Parrots. From 7 games, the 1’s managed only 2 wins with wins against BC Elite and Champions #1.

The 2’s had a 7 game season and faired one place worse than the 1’s by finishing bottom of Division A with only 1 win. As the club decided to have 3 teams this season, it seems as though the 2’s were the team which struggled for numbers all season as most players were resigned to playing either 1’s or the newly formed 3’s which played in the 25 over competition which in fact, appealed to more players this year.

The 3’s finished a respectable 4th this season only missing a place in the semi final due to their last game being washed out. With the opposition being 3 down for 7 after two overs, the rains came and not only washed away the game but any hope the 3’s had of winning their last game and going through to the semi final.

Overall it was a good season for a club that had 3 teams playing with the desire to win but with a major emphasis is to get out and enjoy the game of cricket…and of course, a cold one after each game!!

To the three captains, (Vaughan 1’s, Shane 2’s & Barnsy 3’s) well done and see you around next season for another run in the sun!

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(by Marty Peters)

Well, the Southerners mainly did their performing off the field of play – unless you can count Barnsy’s mini pitch invasion at the 20/20 to offer a rather rotund player from Lamma a plate of chicken wings wrapped in bacon.

Highlights of the action were:

Off the field, things were certainly much brighter.
Mr. Felon endured himself to the Hotel staff on the first night with his performance of the Incredible Hulk meets Panic room whereby his possibly most exhilarating performance endured chasing the security guard around the hotel. The staff must have been concerned as they were found cowering away in a cupboard the next morning. Dave still is unsure on how he arrived home but there are unconfirmed reports of a dalliance with a Motorcycle taxi driver and a missing gold chain – reports suggest that an unaccounted gold chain was spotted at the last Southerners match.

Things did not improve. Marty continuing to punish untoward behavior with zeal – and it was on the second night that the arrival of Frenchie spiced things up. Monsieur Dupont denying his French heritage initially caved into the inevitable and was duly fined for being a Plastic French Man. He was later seen borrowing money from the kitty to hire a sunbed on La Plage – the only problem being that this was at 2am.

Jim remained the quiet man of the tour – and for this he was duly fined on a number of occasions, although claims that he went “missing a lot” were undoubtedly true, Mr Felon was certainly the leader in this event, even at one point locking himself in the toilet!!

Foo Foo drinks were embraced by Barnsy, who ended up intoxicated on Pims – the hardened royalist deciding to embrace his Pommy heritage.

Marty and Barnsy formed a rather hardened drinking alliance, which resulted in lost voices and large headaches. This was probably not helped by Marty taking all the lads into the local Katoey bar in Patong, much to the amusement he was known by name. This didn’t stop Jim taking a shine to one of the “lovely’s”. Barnsy at one point only capable of sign language was seen wondering aimlessly around Patong making various obscene gestures. Marty, at which point deciding an escape in aTuk-Tuk would be more favorable: possibly because the company in it was better (and no, it wasn’t someone from the earlier bar).

Uncle Vaughany, having his work cut out to handle the reprobate bunch, did commendably well, with only one warning from the Tournament director regarding certain behaviors in and around the hotel, his diplomatic skill spared the Felon of the indignity of being thrown out of the tournament and bought a semblance of sense to the team……which only lasted until the next round of drinks was ordered.

The drunken escapades in the Pool on the Saturday afternoon where highly amusing; guests scattering to all parts of the hotel to avoid the noise and non PC conversations. Much amusement was bought by the speedo wearing bandanna topped gentleman who had to walk past the mob – Barnsy lambasting the sorry person and this afternoon was topped of by Dave falling into the pool fully dressed. How he came to do it, no one knows but it summed up the week.

By Sunday with the sorry crew knocked out of the tournament without registering a win it was time to say goodbye to Frenchie, and with it normal life returned, for the final night.

A meal at the Hilton, and a jaunt into Patong followed with a final pint of Guinness to end the japes. Not surprisingly -Mr Felon again went missing and was last heard of staggering around the Safari bar at 4am arguing with the umpires about the catch he didn’t carry over the boundary. Luckily for the hotel his return was much more peaceful.

A few more beers whilst waiting at the airport on the Monday and it was back home to good old Bangkok and the quiet life that we all lead.

A great tour for all as this was the first Southerners tour to Phuket and of course, we will be back next year in the same style, finesse and grace that the Southerners are known for……..and yes, we will play some cricket!

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The 2s season has not been to write home about but the Southerners continue to get guys out on the paddock for a hit which is what it is all about. Last Sunday saw Shane’s Slippery 2s take on ABCC at AIT.

Winning the first ever toss all year, Southerners decided to put the opposition into bat. A few early wickets followed by some loose bowling and then again some wickets saw the innings definitely getable though the last 5 overs went for 65 runs thanks to some power hitting from the lower order of ABCC.Anthony Dupont feeling the pinch the worse by getting smashed for 22 off the last over of the innings. ABCC finishing with 8/210 which can be chased down on the slick outfields of AIT. Bowling for the Southerners had Anthony Dupont 3/66 off 7 overs!, Raj 2/35 off 6 and Khan 2/31 off 7.

After an exclusive 3 course sit down lunch, the 2’s started the runs chase. Two wickets in the first 4 overs does not help a side chasing 210. Skipper Shane and Keeper Vickey both out wearing the rubber duckies! In came Raj and Khan to settle the ship but with a hole made at the top of the innings, the ship slowly went down to the coral reef. Noted credit to Barnsy who swung away with is new Gilly Bat to score 17, Khan 17 and again for the second game in a row, Raj Patil picked up the Man of Match award with a fine knock of 72 and 2 wickets. (Footnote ” Man of Match goes to exactly that – does not have to always go to the winning side”).

Anyway, the 2’s still stay at the bottom though with 2 more games to go, lets see if they can jump up a few spots.

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After a solid and hard fought game of Rugby on Saturday afternoon up against the Chaing Mai team in Chiang Mai, and of course a “regular” night on the town, the rugby lads along joined forces with a team of local youngsters in a 20/20 game against the farangs in Chiang Mai. Despite being abit disjointed at the start, all the guys showed the skills with the bat including virgin cricketers Andy, Rollin who both hail from the USA and Ultan who sounds like an Irishman, lived in Canada but reckons he’s from some small country no-one knows!

Defending about 120 or so, the Southerners unit fielded together as a team for the first 10 overs which yielded 5 wickets for 67 runs. After that, it was left to the Thai youngsters to steer the combined team to victory though victory eluded the star studded combination only to falter on the last ball of the innings with the farangs getting home with a boundary off the last ball. Commendable effort by the team with the following notable efforts:

1. Andy and Rollin being the first American to don the whites for the Southerners
2. Ultan for scoring a run off his first ball ever in cricket
3. Mossy for putting the ball over the ropes twice after a long break at the game
4. Kristian knocking Ritchie out in 2nd slip with his first ball bowled.
5. Ritchie for picking up 2 wickets
6. Josh Black bowling for the first time since U13A’s in Sydney…and picking up a wicket and grabbing a catch.
7. Uncle Vaughany’s diving backward and to his left Derrick Randall catch at covers
8. Brendon Jones bowling one superb over of pies and picking up a wicket
9. Cameron picking up a wicket in 2 tidy overs
10. Ultan, Jonesy and Kristian all need to attend the gym so they can build up their “custard arms”

Thanks for the Chiang Mai guys for the game and it is a commendable sight seeing what has been done getting local Thai youngsters playing a good standard of cricket up in the North…..we at the Southerners take our hats off to you all, both players and coaches and of course all the helpers up there in the cricket.

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Inspired yet again by 4 wickets from Skipper Barns and a superb knock of 55 N.O. from the “not so youngest player in the team”, Noel Matthews, the 3’s came away from the Polo Saturday afternoon with a big win over top of the table team Punjab CC.

Electing to bat first, Punjab were dismissed for 111 in 21.4 overs on a relatively good batting strip at Polo. Destroying the Punjab batting was the skipper himself, A. Barnsy who picked up 4/27 off 4.4 overs. Khan coming in next with 2/21 off 4 overs with Chicken Andy and Bish chipping in with one a piece. Big Nadeem being tight as a duck’s butt with 4 overs, 0/10.

Chasing 112 to win, openers Noel Matthews and Andrew Bentley put on 71 for the first wicket and despite a rather “unsportsmanlike” run out dismissal of #3 batsmen David Fell by the Punjab wicketkeeper, Southerners never looked worried and cruised passed the score with 3 overs to go. Noel Matthews scoring 55 not out and being supported by 20 runs from Andrew Bentley whose average now has reached whole numbers!

A big win for the 3’s and with 2 games to go, two wins should see the 3’s in at least the qualifying final.

Great effort to Barnsy and Noel and of course to the whole of the 3’s and the club so far in the season.

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Southerners Cricket have taken under their wing the district of Petchabun where presently there are over 200 Thai children, both boys and girls, learning and playing the game of cricket. Petchabun coaches Mr. Brian Wiggins and his wife Khun Tuk, have been dedicating their last 4 years to bringing the game of cricket to Petchabun. With help from the Southerners, Pectchabun now has a full length cricket practice net which was constructed as a result of funds raised in last year’s Guinness 20/20 Challenge run by Southerners stalwart Vaughan McClear and the Southerners Cricket section. Again, starting in June 2006, the Guinness 20/20 Challenge will be held with further aims to raise more funding to keep cricket running in Petchabun. If you or your company would like to help in anyway either by financial means or general support, please contact Southerners cricket rep Vaughan McClear by email vaughan@csloxinfo.com or Mr. Brian Wiggins by email brituk11@hotmail.com

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A great effort from the bowlers on Sunday saw the Southerners 3s finish up with a win against Chicha CC. Batting first, Chicha CC were dismissed for 112 from 23 overs. Doing the damage for the Southerners were Chicken Andy 3/19 (5 Overs), Nadeem Shahzad 3/38 (5 overs), Skipper Barns 2/10 (3 Overs) and the ever dependable Raj Patil with 1/10 from 5 Overs. Thanks to a very steady and somewhat slowish opening partnership of 66 between Raj and Dinesh, the winning total of 113 was chased down with 3 overs to spare with Southerners first gamers Noel and Sanjay seeing off the winning runs. Top scorer for the Southerners was Raj Patil with 49 and with 1/10, this earned him Man of the Match. This win keeps the 3’s in 2nd place and with a real chance of making the semi finals so keep tuned and best of luck to the 3’s!!

The 2’s were unfortunately beaten by 2 wickets on Saturday which has now put them at the bottom of the A Division table but with that grade still open, winning their last 3 games could see them getting through from an outside chance. A good knock from David Fell (31) saw the 2’s muster up 95 which in the end was not enough as AIT passed it with 8 wickets down in a game that could have gone both ways. Nadeem Yousaf picking up 4 wickets for the Southerners.