SOUTHERNERS SPORTS CLUB

Remembrance Sunday saw Southerners take on Kasetsart Old Boys in the final round of games in the 2008 TRU pool. The southerners support was minimal consisting of the few substitutes, spuds Mum and his missus.

It was indeed a memorable game (for most) for a back to full strength southerner’s outfit that had benefited from a strong team training session earlier in the week. The domination began after a few short minutes when the university back line was savaged in the tackle by the southerners back row pairing of Toby and Ritchie (or pinky and perkins as they have now been affectionately named). The ball popped loose and the opportunistic mustachioed lock, Pape, was on hand to scoop up the loose ball and drop over the line for the first score. Here began a calamitous afternoon of goal kicking with one silver lining.

The ensuing forward domination led to a typical barnstorming drive and break by the Spud, who powered over the line for the second score of the game. A couple of near tries followed accompanied some great breaks from Will and Dave Church and great tackles from the likes of Gearing and the Skindog who continued in the same vein throughout the afternoon.

More forwards tries were added by Perkins and “The thing” following good work at the base of the ruck by Sod before the backs got involved via the slick hands of late arrival Reed “pass less” Passmore who combined with the sprightly Church to go in under the sticks a rare conversion was added and the southerners went in at the break with a commanding lead.

Minor Biffo only briefly marred the play as Passmore ensured the ref that if he had in fact kneed the opposition number 10 as indicated by the touch judge, said player would not have been able to continue into the second stanza.

The second half began well for the southerners with a shift in emphasis from forwards ground and pound, to backs play as the game became more open. Tries were added by Passmore, and Church and the southerners began to relax and collapse respectively. A couple of choice kicks from the opposition flyhalf were fluffed by members of the southerners back three whom up until this point in proceedings had been relatively untroubled. Noise levels increased as the southerners conceded two tries in quick succession and the opposition rallied. Calm was quickly restored by skipper Perkins after coming round from a 30 minute “absence” after a first half clash of heads aided by fullback Callum stopping the third and final breakaway with a great one on one tackle.

Injuries began to hit the southerners seeing Toby leaving the field with a minor back problem. Subs had time to adjust to their new positions and the status quo returned. Passmore powered in for a try down the right touchline promptly followed by the goal kicking silver lining mentioned earlier as Pape stroked home with aplomb with a field goal that would have graced Twickenham. Moments later the forwards won great lineout ball yet again and from the ensuing maul hooker Nick Klein (who had been outstanding all game) got in for the final score. A game well won for the boys.

Adam Pape

On a wet and boggy pitch a Southerners team full of old and new faces overwhelmed Srinakarin University to win 21 – 0 in match of two very different halves.

From the kick off both sides showed their intent, throwing themselves into tackles and mauls. The Southerners forwards used the extra size and power to put heavy pressure on Srinakarin in both scrums and line outs, stealing balls against the head in both. Brian and Ting lifted Toby well in the first half to guarantee front ball. Belly’s throwing was its usual precise weapon and Srinakarin were always punished for infringing at the rucks by the strong boot of Jack. The first break through came 10 minutes in when the sure foot of Jack put us deep into the Srinakarin 22. Excellent driving and mauling from Gearstick and Paul saw us push even nearer the line. The ball was then released into the backs where David Church created a solid platform to shift quick ball back to fly half Sparky whose miss pass placed Toby (who was lingering in the backline) straight into space to go over the line in the corner. Jack then slotted the difficult conversion to push The Southerners further ahead.

The next 10 minutes saw The Southerners continue their dominance up front with Srinakarin unable to move past the half way line. We once again moved our position deep up into the opposition 22 where another solid line out and maul created the momentum for the ball to be moved into the hands of Sparky who dummied the Srinakarin back line and slipped through to dive in under the posts. At 14 – 0 up The Southerners then turned the screws with great running from Richie and Sod to force Srinakarin well back into their 22. Belly then took his chance (being unable/unwilling to pass the ball) and powered towards the line taking two defenders with him to stretch out and place the ball down for the third.

At half time Srinakarin heads were down and The Southerners spirits up lifted, the pitch however was becoming increasingly muddy and difficult to run on. Srinakarin used this to raise their game and only strong defence from The Southerners stopped them from making an impact on the score board. Excellent tackling from James Blunt(Will) at centre forced Srinakarin backwards and the safe hands of Kirk at full back ensured any kicked ball was quickly tidied up and capitalised on(which ensured an earlier girly kick that he sliced off his orange boots was forgiven). Calum and Glovebox ran at Srinakarin strongly and often combined well to move The Southerners back up the pitch. In ever decreasing conditions neither side was able to make any decisive breakthroughs, even with the forwards still turning over ball in the scrums with great power from Nick and James. When the referee finally blew his whistle for final time the half ended in a stale mate. But, the hard work put in by the Southerners forwards in the first half and solid Southerners back line in the second ensured another victory for the team to push them further up the TRU table.

Special mention must go to Bob’s managment style, which initally focused on the detailed planning of substitutions and inclusive rugby ‘making sure everyone got a game’ but then 10 minutes in switched up to subbing a frontrow for ‘lack of discipline’. It’s hard love at the Southerners baby, hard love….

Tobias “Sedative” Eveleigh

After the disappointment of losing the 33 Cup to the Bangers the previous week, the Southerners were feeling confident of getting back to winning ways in their opening match of the TRU on a scorching day in Bangkok.

Fielding a strong starting lineup, the Southerners competed well throughout the first half, dominating in the scrum and lineout and putting together successive rolling mauls (which can now be collapsed legally of course), one of which must have traveled close to 25 yards. However, the halftime scoreline of 17-12 in favour of Washirawut was an accurate reflection of the fact that despite several very promising phases of play, the Southerners made too many simple errors against a very well drilled opposition. The two tries that the Southerners did score were both well executed and the first was a real crowd pleaser. Following the aforementioned rolling maul, the Southerners were awarded a penalty close to the line, which was executed perfectly by Skinny who scored under the posts in a move described by Gearing as something he “hasn’t seen since schoolboy rugby”. The second Southerners try was scored by Reed who made a dart for the line and was eventually bundled over by the physically superior Southerners pack.

So, with the score close at half-time, it was anybody’s game to win. Disappointingly for the Southerners, by the end of the match, the scoreline did not reflect what a close game it was in the first half. Richie’s powerful run to score a well executed try was the only real bright moment as Washirawut capitilised on the Southerners’ increasing error count and pulled away, eventually running out 37-17 winners with a couple of late tries.

From a Southerners point of view, there are many positives that can be taken from the game. The scrum was strong and the lineout was excellent, with Belly, Toby and the lifters really working well together as a unit. Jason, on his Southerners debut, showed us that GayFL does have some positive influence on the world of sport as he demonstrated his kicking ability, Richie and Toby were inspirational their tackling and, as usual, the likes of Nick, Brian, Adam and Diehan worked tirelessly up front.

Nevertheless, Washirawut were deserved winners and our congratulations go to them for a very fine performance and we wish them the best for the rest of the competition.

On a final note, this was the last match for Steve Theodopalopadous/The Bearded Lady/Turtle and although he couldn’t feature in the match as a player, J-Lo. The Southerners would like to thank them for all that they have contributed and wish them all the best for the future. They have both played a major role in organisation, training and the social side of the club, not to mention many outstanding contributions on the field itself. J-Lo, good luck finding bar work in Shepherd’s Bush. Bearded, try not to get detained in an airport and good luck convincing Seppos that you aren’t anorexic. We’ll see you both off in true Southerners style on the 10th October!

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Bangers 37 – Southerners 5

It would seem the phrase “every dog has its day” was proven a wise one that Saturday, as the Bangers deservedly reclaimed the 33 Cup after a long Southerners’ tenure. The match began well for the Southerner’s with an early try masterminded by Churchy and touched down by Callum. A very well drilled, heartily sized and healthy numbered Bangers side controlled the match from then on against a mixed team of old and new boys in the black, green and gold. The Bangers’ forwards controlled the breakdown and enjoyed tight possession for the majority of the match. All of the Southerners defended furiously throughout the match and at the end of the day did the jersey proud. Hats off to the Bangers for a well played match, the better team on the day won and deservedly so. With that said, a loss to our expat neighbors is never taken lightly and I am sure the boys are anxiously awaiting a chance to reclaim the cup!

We were really looking forward to our first pre-season game against the Japanese. Several of the Japanese boys play for us and they are greatly respected for their toughness and passion for the game. We were expecting a tough match.

It turned out to be one. There were a few injuries in the match, notably a cut head for a Japanese player and there several sore heads on our team too.

We were pleased with how we played. We scored several good tries both with great individual efforts and also good hands in the backs. Excellent games came from Reedy, who scored a great individual try after ripping the ball from a Japanese attacker and also put on some great hits; Sparky, who also hit hard all game and showed great flair in attack and Calum who was rock solid under the high ball and set up a great try.

The forwards were also impressive. Near the end of the match they put together some good pick and drives and generally competed well for the loose ball. Adam and Ting both had great games, as did several others.

It reflects the spirit of the match that we forgot to ask the ref the final score but we’re pretty sure it was about 35-7. The Japanese as usual impressed us with their courage in both attack and defense. Despite being the smaller side and taking many big hits they kept on coming. We look forward to more games in the future.

The much anticipated ‘first 15’s game of the season’ between Southerners, Bangkok and The Nomads from Hong-Kong took place on June 7th at Bangkok Patana School fields. It was a stunning day and the huge thermometer next to the toll way at Lad Phrao read: 38 degrees Celsius.

This game was even more significant as it was the last (second to last we have now been informed) game for two of our old stalwarts, Jon “Muscles” Miselbach and Paul “Lucky” Livesey. They have been awesome club men and have contributed much to this club. Their presence on and off the field will be sorely missed.

The boys arrived nice and early(ish) to begin the warm-up by having a laugh at Wagga, (already hung-over after a night out) who got hit in the head with a football twice in two minutes by some clowns ‘trying’ to warm up for a football match. Needless to say, that ball ended up on the other side of the grounds. Warm-up was completed and Southerners were planning to play the lightest loose-forward trio in the history of ex-pat rugby, with Skinny and Jac as flankers and Carl as number eight. Following the warm-up, Skinny was duly informed that half of the Nomad’s team had gotten lost in translation/a taxi somewhere in Bangkok.

Nomads ended up having 11 players and there was much debate as to whether we should play 11’s, 12’s or 13’s. Some of the boys from Southerners put up their hands to play for Nomads, and 12′ with four 10 minute quarters was decided on. Southerners one-off dynamic loose-forward trio was disbanded and Jac was chucked back out on the wing.

From the kick-off it was clear that Southerners was going to dominate this encounter. Our forwards secured very good go-forward ball for the backs who carved it up scoring within the first two or three minutes. This continued for much of the first quarter with Nomads hardly in the game. In the second quarter however, Nomads rallied and managed to cross for a well deserved try after some good build up work. Southerners then picked up from where they left off and scored a couple of length of the field tries through some great line-breaks from fly-half Reed with support from his outsides. The third quarter provided much entertainment for the spectators as Jon Miselbach made a clean break up the center of the field with acres of space in front of him. However, Kirk Kahu, a Southerner filling in for the Nomads was determined to spoil the leaving party for Jon. Shutting him down with centimeters to spare before the try line. Jon made a last-gasp effort to reach out and score but only managed to tie himself in a knot and knock the ball forward. Ten years ago Kirk wouldn’t have even gotten close. Late in the fourth quarter Nomads once again rallied and managed to score. However, by that time everyone had stopped counting the score as Southerners had well and truly run away with the match. After the game Southerners formed the traditional tunnel and clapped off The Nomads.

Some special mentions must go out to players for outstanding performances. Our new scrum-half (ex-Queensland Red) Hooey was inspirational with his pin-point passes and quick footwork. Paul “Lucky” Livesey was a concrete wall at inside-center also scoring a try to cap a fitting swan-song. Jon “Muscles” Miselbach smashed the opposing forwards, making powerful surges through the middle. At one point, going straight over the top of one of the Nomad’s props. This prop was arguably the heaviest man on the pitch by some stretch. Jac popped up all over the radar to score four tries with some great speed and support work.

Post-game fines and beers went down at the Bat Cave in the Londoner. There was a great turn-out with almost all The Southerner’s turning up. Momo even managed to make a special appearance before leaving for Singapore the next day. The Hong-Kong boys had been invited but didn’t arrive until later. The night of the 7th also happened to have the South African’s playing the Welsh at Bloemfontein, live. Despite some foul language from Darrel as the Welsh capitulated to yet another defeat by the World Champions, the game was very warmly received by most. As it was Jon and Paul’s last game the team had to turn up with a fact about Jersey (Paul) and The Isle of Wight (Jon). Some highly debatable facts were voiced and everybody reveled in what was a great atmosphere. Just when people were beginning to wonder where those Nomads had gotten to they all rolled in, shouted The Southerner’s a few beer towers and named Jon their player of the day. What a great way to start the 15’s season.

Special thanks must go out once again to Skinny for organising this game for Southerners.

Jac Wardrope

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What better way to get through a week at work than knowing that you’re about to head off to Phuket for a weekend of beer, sleepless nights and smashing Rugby!

After a quite phenomenal 36 hour turnaround in the Blazer acquisition field, tourer Gearstick upped the anti once more, by sorting out Express Boarding passes for everyone and ensuring that the Southerners took up their rightful position in front of everyone else. On the other hand, he did check a bag in, slowing things down at the other end – not so perfect after all, mate. A severe case of liquid mismanagement lead to fellow rookie Glovebox making the very same schoolboy error – you live and learn.

The tour started with a variety of songs being belted out in the van on route to Little Buddha(by this time the advanced party had been in the pub for 3 hrs), possibly so that we could all try and forget that we had somehow acquired a filthy Banger. No doubt that the tins supplied by Orlando Blume(Capt Jack Sparrow surely) had something to do with the high spirits. Presumably he had to get on the sauce nice and early to stop his knuckles going quite so white at the prospect of flying. Still, after fighting off the autograph hunters, he emerged intact.

A quick turnaround in our double bedded rooms (to his horror, Glovebox was to find out later exactly what sordid thoughts were going through Bearded’s head when he booked doubles). Although little did they know that one clever tourer had booked himself a superior room to himself and avoided the possibility of sharing with some skank! Thereafter it was straight out to meet some of the earlier arrivers and hit it hard. The streets had already been tarnished by the presence of J-Lo and his inability to speak English induced through copious amounts of alcohol, kicking the night off in Southerners fashion. One by one the famous J’Lo’s (Tequila followed by tomato juice and tabasco) were knocked back. The night went on to a climax with authentic Southerners pole dancing and erratic drinking. Obviously in Birmingham the tradition of sleeping on the bar is relentless, as Perkins fulfilled his heritage. No doubt this was the signal to stagger on. Whilst the various parties disbanded, Gearstick was left to fight the ominous bar-lady single handedly, who had stolen his evenings purchase of a cowboy hat. In the meantime the others had left, and Wagga was yet to finish as he launched himself into a taxi shouting “take me to the action bro!”. At 6.30am Capt J Sparrow woke to the sound of a hotel bell being penetrated by Wagga’s Ethiopian chest barely reaching the ground. A big thanks to Perkins for his efforts in saving the team from extinction (bit strong it was only Gearstick) by paying off the motorbike taxi as Gearstick proceeded to do a runner proclaiming “100 Baht you’ll be lucky if you get 20 Biatch!”

Day light broke and the only birds singing were those in the heads of the Southerners. J-Lo was severely lacking juice when he got back in. A horrendously early start saw us take to the field against the Dubai Exiles at 8:30am. Wagga stole the show by failing to unleash his famous spider tackle, but instead opted to tackle a prop head first enabling his quick exit off the field insisting he was “born to play man, born to play”. Not feeling that Wagga had been embarrassed enough Sultan then attempted to carry Wagga off over his shoulder, this earned him an immediate benching from a very shouty Baron who just wanted Wagga off so the match could continue.

Thankfully, the Exiles were USEless and Churchy got things going with a quick tap penalty and stroll through their Red Sea resembling Exiles defence. Bob added another and in the end it was exactly the standard of opposition that the Southerners needed after the previous night’s exploits. The boys were pleased with this result as the Dubai lot seemed to rate themselves a bit and weren’t best pleased to be turned over by a bunch of hungover marching clowns�

So after hitting the beach and catching up on sleep, it was time for game 2, against the Singapore Bucks Bunnies, which was a rather tighter affair. Added to this we were forming up against a former Southerner, Ultan ‘listen to me talk’ Peters, who the previous night had been talking up his hits for the match. I swear he spoke solidly for 20 minutes without taking a breath. It is possible that he breaths through his ears, as he certainly doesn’t use them to listen? Anyway the Ultan ‘cross-town express’ never showed up..

Churchy once again opened things up, just about winning a footrace and after a quick officials’ conference, it was decided that he wasn’t a cheating Seppo (or honourary Canuck as he later became) and the try was awarded(Later on when questioned he admitted ‘yeah I pushed the guy, he was in the way’). The Bucks then pulled it back, just about getting the ball down after edging over the line from a couple of yards out, but the Southerners secured the win in the dying seconds as Wagga (no longer “born to play”), beat two or three defenders and went over in the corner. It was a win that secured our passage into the Cup(really I’m sure it was the Plate!!) competition for Sunday and ‘allowed us’ to forfeit our final game in order to watch the Little England Pony Club take the Super 14 title. It was a decision that proved that the Southerners are experienced at this sort of thing as the opposition (British team, Kukri Badgers) went on to win the whole thing!

So with the inconvenience of rugby out of the way, there was a Southern invasion of a bar allowing the main event of the weekend to get underway. Sporting bandanas, wife-beaters (singlets) and truly hideous pants allowed the court session to take place. Skinny couldn’t keep his mouth shut, Churchy became Canadian and our Thai brethren bemused us all by nattering away in the corner about the service provided by various airlines. Special mention must go to J-Lo and Kris for being unable to complete the simple action of passing a jug to each other, when sitting next to each other – and then failing a further three times. Although the court session came to end, the merrymaking did no such thing and we launched into what seemed like literally hours of singing. National anthems (especially the USA anthem, due to a heavy turnout by the seppos. Bob even took the time to learn the words, not bad after 18 yrs in the Army, you think it would have come up??), rugby songs, other socially unacceptable verse were all naturally accompanied by a constant supply of beer and shots. Of course it wouldn’t be a tour unless some t**t (J-Lo who BTW has far too many mentions so far) insisted in doing the hurdles over the table causing an eruption of beer, glass and people. The day continued with ordinary dancing in the middle of it all, and it was all too much for one of the other patrons who took issue with the verse, “Get the f***ing tourists out the bar” went the cry! Now if you were the manager, who would you rather keep happy? The solitary tourist who had come in for a bite to eat and a quiet drink or the 16 rugby players who had been drinking 4 hours straight and showed no intention vacating any time soon? Tough call, eh?

Eventually we did move on in search of a place to watch the English Premiership Final. Glovebox was almost lynched, when after a 30 minute recce involving visiting an internet caf? for possible locations, we still managed to find ourselves sitting outdoors on concrete furniture. However, Perkins did manage to have his drink spiked with hot sauce and Gearstick sorted a 50 yard taxi ride for 400 Baht, so not all bad. We then found ourselves back at our original drinking hole. Where we drank more, we sang more and at various times of the night, we staggered back to our beds.

Our Sunday morning start was delayed by the lack of a van, people and inertia. We eventually arrived to be greeted by the sound of a whistle, which we found to be our kick-off which we had just forfeited. However, the Dubai Dragons sportingly agreed to play the match anyway and duly ran out 12-0 winners. So eliminated from the competition, the Southerners hit the beach, watched a few more matches and then made our way back towards the airport to head home and catch up on sleep.

All in all, it was a cracking weekend. When you throw in the ingredients of rugby, beer and a beach, would you really expect anything else? Thanks to Bearded for organising it all and to everyone else for coming along and for all their various contributions to the whole affair. Bring on the next one!!

Respect goes out to those who managed to keep their clothes on, stay out of jail, pay for their taxis and return Hotel bells, Khrap.

Day-o, Daaay-o Daylight Come And Me Want Go Home�����..

Glovebox & Gearstick

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