General Bob Ball, ‘Henry Rollins’ Miller, Mark ‘the carp’ Anderson, Marty “the pimp who brings 2 ladies along to bait the hooks” O’Driscoll and I tackled some of Bangkok’s largest deep sea monsters last weekend.

Upon arrival at Bangkok’s largest fish pond we were confronted with the sight of a local guide and expat chest deep in the murky water wrestling a fish that was so big there was no way of dragging it out of the water – it seriously would have weighed close to 100kgs. With one quick look at this, the boys skulled a few XXXX beers – kindly flown in by the US Army, especially for the event and got stuck into the action.

After getting settled into our luxury style bungalow on the water – TV, fridge, deck chairs, card table and of course Marty’s 2 wives, we were into the action. Within minutes we had a double hook up – with the fish that is! Marty had to be buckled into a harness as he was getting dragged closer and closer to the waters edge. But finally, after wearing these bastards out and vice versa, we had the monsters to the surface…

Next problem, like the guy at the start, was getting the things on land! Thankfully the bungalow next door lent us their net, which we very soon realised was too small…so we steered the fish’s head into the net and then two of us grabbed the tail and heaved it onto the landing deck….these things were the fattest, ugliest, possibly the most docile things ever to have lived in water…

A quick vote on the weight, resulted in a unanimous decision of around 50kgs a piece.

At the end of the day, as the sun was setting, and the XXXX was quickly disappearing we had landed 3 of the largest cat fish we had ever seen and had a great day out!

So until next Southerners Fishing Tournament, start watching copies of ‘Rex Hunt Fishing Adventures”, practice your casting (Marty invented a new method of ear piercing) and try wrestling Momo for practice landing these deep sea slugs.

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Southerners A went through the season u defeated except for a loss to Transpo, much to their delight, when we were down on players. What was most entertaining was the effect of the captains “lets kick some arse” email call out for players the next time we played them. All 10 players turned up 30 minutes before the game started, dressed, warming up and psyched in contrast to the rest of the season where the last players dribbled onto court half way through the first quarter! Anyway, we won that game and the rest of the season’s to take out winners of Division 1.

Southerners B after a shaky start with player turnout, managed to turn things around under the watchful eye of captain Libby Elms. They blasted their way through the last round and a half of the season to top Division 3 and we are sure they will be a force to be reckoned with next season!

The Bangkok Netball League End of Season bash was held in May at Livingstones. This was a great night, where Southerners picked up many awards -

1. Division 1 Winners – Southerners A
2. Division 2 Winners – Southerners B
3. Best Dressed Team – Southerners CLub
4. Player of the Season – Joey Kukielka

Crown, a dedicated netball sponsor for Southerners also gave out awards specifically for our club. These went to -

1. A Team – Best and Fairest Player : Kerry Guthrie
2. A Team – Most Valuable Player : Lisa Stirling
3. A Team – Most Improved Player : Pauline Mills
4. B Team – Best and Fairest Player : Joey Kukielka
5. B Team – Most Valuable Player : Alex Alo
6. B Team – Most Improved Player : Kate Friend

Once we had outstayed our welcome at Livingstones, we ventured on to James’ 30th, where some relatively seedy characters were present…see the photos!

Southerners A Team:
Nicole Stanners (C), Emma Perry, Kristina Zanic, Kerry Guthrie, Stephanie Dunstan, Seonaid Anderson, Lisa Stirling, Pauline Mills, Olivia Thwaites, Gill Kruss, Mel Luck, Cath Gallery

Southerners B Team:
Libby Elms (C), Alex Alo, Sasha Minnett, Tarynn Hatton-Jones, Kate Friend, Joey Kukielka, Gill Presland, Melissa Stewart, Melissa Burt, Kim Mc Connie, Sara Lyn, Sarah Black, Sonia Wilson, Emma De Szoeke, Rachael Wood

We would like to say a big farewell to some of our members that left Bangkok – Seonaid Anderson, Mel Luck and Cath Gallery

Once we all arrived though, it was a great night. Plenty of dancing, drinking, singing and silly behaviour, although I don’t ever remember two gays guys playing in our teams, who were permanently ensconced at our table! (see photos, they say more!)

After the pool games we made it through to the semis where we were beaten and then played off for 3rd place, which we won convincingly. The best thing to see was the improvement from one year to the next with the Thai umpires skills and the cleanliness of the Thai National Teams play.

The best part of the tournament week was the night out after our 3rd place win to celebrate and spend our 3000 Baht prize! The dressing rooms at the Thai National Stadium being as undesirable as they are, we ventured out sweaty and in our kit, ending up at Tokyo Joes on Soi 24. There we discovered many new little insights into our team-mates…

- Keep Kerry away from ordering Margaritas or you will end up VERY DRUNK..
- If Alex EVER tries to set you up with someone she thinks is cute…stay away…
- Seonaid has a past life as a BALLROOM dancer and likes to pull out the hand snap stance when she has had a few!
- Nicole has an inability to estimate big bar bills, thinking that 3000 Baht would cover 15+ jugs of Margarita!!
- Wearing Sweaty Netball uniforms out to bars are (1) One way FARANG women can keep FARANG mens eyes away from Great looking Thai girls….apparently they are sexy? (2) Will help you to pick up new sponsors who are astounded at your dedication to sponsor value!

Team special thanks goes to -
Nicole Stanners, Emma Perry, Seonaid Anderson, Stephanie Dunstan, Kerry Guthrie, Pauline Mills, Cath Gallery, Jenny, Donna and Alex for helping us out, as well as JP and Cam for supporting us!