In a breakthrough decision for gingers globally, Southerners halfback Paul Bleasdale was last night announced Southerners Vice Captain at the Rugby AGM.
“For years people have told me I have no soul, mocked me…saying that I should change my name to Redmond McFirecrotch and so on. It cut deep. I thought my video would help me get through all the pain, but I never actually thought this day of acceptance would come. Hopefully Southerners Old Boys captain Andy Steel feels he can now come out of his bleach-soaked shell following this decision,” said a triumphant Bleasy.
Coach Zorba said the decision was pretty clear-cut: “I was watching ‘Walker, Texas Ranger’ on TV the other night – just as Chuck Norris was about to roundhouse this guy in the face inside a Dallas titty bar, I realised that he was in fact a Ginger…after Canadian Adam returned back home to Canada, we needed a fella who was able to kick some ass around the ruck area. I thought Bleasy was perfect for the job of leading the boys in that area – genetically he’s the closest guy in the club we have to Chuck Norris.”